A beginner's guide to preparing for anal sex
If you're ready to slide into anal sex, like literally, know that this is one sex act for which a compatriot needs some prep, especially if you haven't spent a lot of time in B town.
We are talking about safety, hygiene, a lot of lubrication and some key excitement to help make the experience more pleasant than painful.
That said, even prep can be fun. We spoke with sex educator and coach Kenneth Bly, co-founder of the intentional sex-positive community Hacienda Villa, to find out more.
If it's about to happen, like, right now
If your date is pulling into the driveway and you're panicking, breathe. As long as you've got lube and access to some soap, water or wipes, you're good, say Toys.
"If you want to feel refreshed before playing there, it's always okay to say,' I just want to make a quick stop to the bathroom, '" adds Bly. "After all, a fun gaming session is all about your comfort.”
Is a bathroom break possible? Napkins can do the trick, too, say Toys. "Unless you like a little brown sugar with your coffee! Hey, no kink shaming here."*Wink*
If you don't have the basics at hand, you might want to reschedule your butt session or switch gears with an equally fun job.
Sh * t happens, but it does not need to be treated because of the bacterial factor. To share love and not bacteria, do not go back to the front-as in the ass to the mouth, vagina, hands — or to the ass of a different partner without a quick cleaning between them.
And remember that lubrication is not just an exciting addition to butt toys-it is a must for your comfort and safety. That's because lubrication helps prevent painful tearing that can increase your chance of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
"Apply (lube) generously, and if you're at the bottom, be upfront about when you need to reapply,"explains Bly.
Having access to wet wipes or another way to wash afterwards can also help reduce the chance of another infection.
And while we are on the topic of safety, do not forget to protect the barrier if there is uncertainty about the STI status of the partner in question or if the partner has an STI.
- Put on a dark towel or blanket if you are worried about the mess caused by lube, Guts, or leftover stools.
- Do not skip before playing-it will help you relax and make anal oh-so much better.
- If you are preparing to play with a toy, get a napkin or a specific "safe" resting place to put before and after use.
If you have a sex date tomorrow
Making sure that you are stocked on lube is the First Order of business.
Just stay away from narcotic oils, which can make it difficult to feel when something is not right. Taking things slowly and steadily is a safer way to help keep discomfort to a minimum.
Starting slowly can ~ literally ~ save your butt, a tight space made of some very delicate and delicate tissue. Haste will not only make it a lot, but also difficult to penetrate, haste can also make anal sex very painful and cause injury.
You can also use the time to get your butt ready for work. This could mean trying it on alone with your fingers or with a toy, or grooming there.
"In addition to wearing a butt plug to open yourself up, getting ready for anal play is really up to you and can range from washing the outside with soap and water to douching or doing an enema,"says Bly.
If you expect anal to become a permanent fixture in the repertoire and plan to participate more often, toys recommends investing in a bidet. "It's an excellent way to keep your undercarriage fresh.”
If you have more time to prepare
Spontaneous sex is fun and everything, but having more time to prepare for anal is especially useful if you are new to the game and are dealing with common roadblocks, such as fear of pain or the appearance of feces.
These tips can make all the difference for beginners who are preparing for anal.
Consider anal training
Think of it like training for a sporting event, only in this case the muscle is your sphincter and the event is anal.
Anal training involves gradually tightening the anus with a set of anal dilators or plugs, of different sizes, starting from the smallest and working your way over time to a larger size.
If you find the idea of playing intimidating, use your fingers, starting with your pinky.
And do not forget to use lubrication. Lots and lots of lubrication.
Invest in throwing sex
Yes, sex throws are a thing and they are the cat's pajamas for anyone who likes to get messy — or doesn't.
Waterproof sex blankets come in standard mattress sizes and protect your bedding while also giving you a plush surface to play with.
Need a suggestion? Try the facenator throw editor, which is available for purchase online and comes in travel size so you can take the fun on the road.
Look at the different situations
A downward dog is not the only way to have butt sex. Being aware of the positions you can try will help you find comfortable ones for you and your partner(partner). This is especially important if you or a partner are living with a disability or pain.
Feel free to practice different poses before the Big Show. We won't say.
Know the anatomy of your back
Treating yourself a little rectal 101 before trying anal can help to increase your comfort level, especially if you have any hang-ups about something poop-which is a common thing, btw.
Without going into a whole anatomy lesson, know that:
- The stool sits higher in the rectum and is unlikely to appear, especially if you have already made a bowel movement that day.
- Anal penetration stimulates a lot of the same muscles and nerves involved in the BMS and can lead to a feeling of needing to go, but you won't.
- The sphincter and rectum are elastic and are intended for stretching, but this stretching is not dramatic or permanent.
- Anal orgasms are a thing and possible whether you have a prostate or not.
Make time for a shower together
Schedule your foray into anal with enough time to enjoy a shower together. This can perform a double duty as before play to help you relax and get ready, and increase the confidence of the receiving partner when it's time to break through, play says.
"One of my favorite sexual penetrations for someone trying anal sex for the first time is to start with a sensual shower,"says Bly. "Washing your partner and sliding your hands over the body with soap is sexy and sensual.”
He continues: "after thoroughly rinsing the soap from the anus, start with light edges while using a waterproof vibrator on the clitoris. If your partner has a penis, give him a manual job. That way, your partner will feel refreshed and confident to move on, knowing that your tongue is already over.”
Do not forget about aftercare
Congratulations on taking the initiative! Enjoy the subsequent twilight, but first, the aftercare.
Remember that microscopic feces may still be present, which is why it is important to clean up immediately.
Use a tissue or soap and water to wash your butt and genital area, then wash your hands thoroughly. If you are using a toy, wash it too.
After cleaning, take some time to check in with each other. It is not unusual to feel a little weak after engaging in anal for the first time. This is a good time to talk about how you feel about the experience and what you might want to do differently next time.
Anal sex still hurts a little, even if you did everything right. If you feel pain there, soaking in a warm bath with Epsom salt can help soothe the tender bottom.
The bottom line
A little preparation goes a long way when it comes to anal sex, especially for beginners. This extra time can pay off tenfold in the way of increased intimacy, the pleasure of twisting a paper, and maybe an orgasm or two.